FACADE

Friday, December 18, 2009

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes ?til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

think again. 1:19 AM

She slipped into her glass slippers once again.

wow. it's a cinderella story(: lols anws, this silly girl who thinks that she's cinderella slips into her glass slippers once again, upon meeting her prince charming which she realises had been there for her all along.(: and guess what? you have the prince and the princess and it's a ending; happily ever after(: wells, it seems that this silly girl is thinking too much on the negative side, and she guess she should start thinking on the positive side(: Happiness is just an arm away now. (:

<3<3<3

think again. 12:57 AM

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Left her glass slippers behind.

i dunno why, this is like my 3rd post for today?? lols i guess i m rly free n veh bored. was looking fr jobs, but to no avail. sumtimes, ppl outside can be veh rude and nasty. wells, i guess it's the outside world. i have to face it. not everybody is oh-so-good though i do knw ppl wif pure innocence. lols

anws, i'm kinda tired frm all the trouble. i m trying veh veh hard, but dad seems to not listen. toking to him is equal to toking to a dangerous bull that comes charging at u wifout reasoning. how long can i stand him?? idk, but one thing's for sure, i'm tired of all the war at hm. be it hot or cold. i jus wanna escape, dig a hole or hide in a corner and jus cry. then dere is sumting worse. he wants me to quit. he told me tat if he can make me dumb, he wud, jus to stop me frm singing. he wans me to quit tas, not join choir in JC and stuffs, jus as long as i don associate myself wif singing and music. but i will NEVER quit nomatter what.

i guess that's all. my day hasn't been any pleasant. i jus wish tat mum wud stand by me and be wif me... if i can choose, i will not choose to follow dad but i will stic to mum nomatter what thru e tick and thin...

guess what? this silly girl just happen to chance upon a photo, it's her wishful thinking and misunderstanding all along. anws, she have no right to be jealous or angry... cos he's not hers in any kind of way. this silly girl have to stop thinking too much..

think again. 9:40 PM

think again. 5:39 PM

What a joke. hahah

****
The Ris-tionary.

Shingz
- adjective

DEFINITION: The total opposite for Boomz and a new word for 'get lost'.

Example 1: Wow! Look at that! The outfit the fat angmoh lady is wearing is totally shingz.

Example 2: Shingz off! I am trying to concentrate on my work here.
****
hahah!! guess wat? this is such a big joke. lols came across this on windows live today. haha.anws, suppose to watch movie and go forever 21 todayy, turns out we din go out. but i gave dad 10 bucks. okayys so im not entirely broke YET, with 10 bucks to spare fr the rest of the month. lols. Minmin's goinghm tmr, and i guess it's jus natural for me to bring her hm. wacthed death nte at home,which i find it kinda scary.. the plot i mean, but Kira/light is super cute!!^^ (looks la lols) anws, i am lik looking fr a job now... man... guess that's all i hav for today..

you got me thinking.

think again. 5:11 PM

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

think again. 10:11 PM

Giddyup Giddyup Let's Go.

okayys! so i have a show today at 12.30pm at OUB centre. damn it i woke up late and rushed like mad. xO lols we kinda "force" elaine to "expose" herself todayy.. haha xD but she looked nice in tat dress(: heheh anws, i think the show was alright; except for Feliz.. which was err... idk wat to say.. lols screwed up? lols after that i went to grab Tmisu donut frm donut empire. yummm... mamacow.. it's sooooo sinful.. it's full of creamy custard (i tink), and it's coated wif white choc and topped wif tiramisu cream xDD *drools* okayys.. part of my food fantasy.. haha lik my "step brother" jeremy, i'm nuts over donuts.. haha xD too bad, he now in taiwan.... he btr get sumting fr us peeps xD lols juzzzz kiddin' ^^ lols oh oh and i totalli agree wif Yo tat vic is veh veh similar to Alton! xD heh

anws, we went to banquet fr lunch, had beeeeeef noodles!^^ damn nice and shoik. the beef is super juicy and tender and mouthwatering... haha (omg, i seriously can work as food critique ald) lols xDD yeps, and then, Yo, Amanda honey, Vic and I went to forever 21. okayys, speaking of shopping, that place rocks like mounteverest!^^ haha 4 stories of shopping!^^ Vic and mel went off to coffee bean cos mel needs to study fr exams on fri. yeps and we gals, had fun trying on the dresses and tank tops and blah blah. i m going gahgah over it. xD lols and pics are gonna be up nex xD and and and i bought a hot pink flower hairband!^^ super cute!!!^^ oh oh and dere r tonnes of boots!!^^ and there i go... *screams* ^^ haha lols after that, we went starbucks, got sum drinks and den chill out at long johns wif fries(: chatted about random things(: lols den off i go hm.

yeah and i am here typing now. i was trying to tolerate, but dad's such a drag. he's GETTING money frm me again. not lending, borrowing or wat. shouldn't it be e other way round? not lik i m veh rich or working now lik tat... wat's worse, i onli hav 20 bucks to spare fr e rest of the month. i'm seriously broke. x(

okayys, i guess that's all i'll hav to say for today. hopefully, tmr will be pleasant. if i m right, i should be bringing minmin n treating her to e movie 2012 as requested by mum. okayys, and there goes my 20 bucks. and guess what? i m seriously broke fr e rest of e month wif zero bucks to survive. damn it. but wells, it's minmin's last few days staying her, cos sku's starting fr her, so i don blame her. hmms.. jus hope tat i can sumhow claim bac e money... hope...lols... anws, it's pictures time now(: hehe

***picsy galleree***

1st one tat caught my eye! gothic design! but sadly the neckline doesn't fit me x((

how's this? sunshine babe? lols i love the pink!!!!!^^

purple zebra? lols

guess wat? this is not frm forever 21. haha! it's wat i'm wearing todayy..-.- go hilary! wth... haha

a rosy promy dress? idk. but it wud be nice if it were blue. blue roses!!!!^^

another rosy dress. but mor casual i tink? haha

mamacow!!!! i loveeee this!!^^ it's damn gorgeous!^^ haha lovee the black and purple combination xDD heh

a veh uh.. tealy dress?? i dunno, lik it initially until i try it... lols but it's veh comfy(: love the material(:

haha it's jus the skirt i wanna highlight.(: haha black and electric blue!^^ matches my electric blue heels!^^ haha

***the end***

guess that's all for today. woah! long post. haha xD

This silly girl seems to be smitten by him. damn it. how did he do that?? she wonders, is she ready to let got of the past and start anew??

think again. 9:10 PM

think again. 12:29 AM

Monday, December 14, 2009

Life's a Fairytale.

i guess that's life? typically, u should be able to find the bad guys, the by standers, the advisors, the royal pets, the white horses, the prince charming and of cos the princess itself. funny isn't it? It's always the prince and the princess and then happily ever after. but i'm not so sure about it in my life.

haha today is quite a random day. lols met Elaine for door to door survey initially, ended up chatting most of the time xD haha had sushi fr dinner at amk hub after passing James the surveys. actually, i dunno what to blog about. hahah. had sum girls tok wif Elaine todayy, actualli it's more than just girls tok. we tok about almost everything. haha and guess what? both of us are veh veh similar xD lols and i got her hooked on wasabi todayy xD hahah the power of spicyness xD lols after the supposingly "dinner" (which is 5 pieces of sushi.. lols), i went hm. oh man, and i saw a kitten injured on my way home. so poor thing!! i wan to carry it hm... but it went to hide under a van... it's so tiny, small and fragile... heart pains... xO

i guess that should be my day(: lols dere's a show tmr... guess i gotta slp earli(: good night folks!^^ oh and im currently so in love with heaven can wait xD lols

This silly girl is so confused now. She never realised that there are other good guys out there until this jerk dumped her. wells, she turned two away apparantly, cos she don't think she's ready for another relationship yet. However, this friend who treated her well, she realised he was a good guy. and based on what her other sisters tell her, she kinda guess that this friend is interestd in her. however, she is not sure of her own feelings now, except that this guy friend got her thinking of him. damn it. she's puzzled by how he does it, but one thing's for sure, she wouldn't reject him. Time is all this silly girl needs.

think again. 11:50 PM

Sunday, December 13, 2009

think again. 11:19 PM

Meeeow.

had 2 shows at woodlands area on fri. and i was emceeing.. haha kinda panicky.. but i guess it's good practice(: it was nice of willie to drive me ard.. lols but the others were lik telling me "becareful" haha xDD anws, my mum saw me boarding his car! xO which is kinda scary, but lucky mum din tell daddy. if not i wud be in deep shit. and willie wud hav.. err died? lols anws, mum wans to see his pic, so i took a pic of him which look super gayyy xD ROFL. told mum he's gay. she rly believe it xD lols show on fri was kinda crap. damn it, tat stupid big mouth patricia mok, emcee until so loud, we had to compete wif her fr volume. she's wif mic summor. nowander she so noisy, mouth so big. it's lik she's grabbing attention fr herself, puling our crowd away. rah.

saturday was another practice day. had soup spoon fr lunch and it's kor's treat.^^ haha we met Kim as well, and had lunch tgt(: then it was practice(: i guess we sounded quite okayy? wells, our woodlands team ytd was lik crap... no seniors at all... Yo, Jo, hidhir, Sali all not dere. -.- lols but wells, i tink we sounded quite decent(: lols wels, but sumthing pissed me off todayy... i dunno did he do it on purpose, but he's also in the committee fr nex yr's concert. which means, i gotta work wif him nex yr as well... i hav a veh bad gut feeling about it... wells, i promised tat i will never tok to him ever again, i guess it will be broken soon... anws, show ytd was okayys(: 1st show was crap, lack of practice, n we hav no sop 2. xO but 2nd show was much btr wif practice(:

went to church today(: sadly, today's our last teens lesson (i tink), awww.. so sad... we miss sister Irene... x( lols but anws, we'll soon be "expired" and moving up to YF(: haha xD anws, today's lentor experience wif teens was rather nice(: went to daiso at dobby to buy stuffs after tat n den to dpom's house. lols he intro me this youtube vid- silent library. ROFL. Damn funny jap idiotic and sadistic vid xD haha oh n i found out the weak point of willie! heheh xD but shit, he also knw mine-.- rah.. anws, his 2 cats were super adorable!!!^^ lols meeeeow! xDD

and so that concludes my day(: working wif elaine tmr! while sending constance off(: haha xD

there is this silly girl, after being hurt, she is now very afraid, afraid that she would be hurt again. but there is this guy friend who is treating her very well right now. but she is still afraid. is he just being a nice friend? or is there sumthing else?? she's afraid that the same thing might happen again...

think again. 10:41 PM

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Pictures to burn.

State the obvious
I didn’t get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That’s fine; i'll tell mine you're gay and by the way....

I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.

There's no time for tears
I'm just sitting here planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From goin' out with all of your best friends.
And if you come around
Saying sorry to me
My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you'll be

'Cause I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.

And if you're missing me
You better keep it to yourself
Cuz coming back around here
Would be bad for your health

'Cause I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
In case you haven’t heard

I really really hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
you're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn.....

think again. 9:36 PM

Sleepy sleepy

haha today is a rather slackish day. i jus wanna slp. but stupid willie keep calling me pig-.- rah. jus becos his outfield ended. lols. yeah and so, life is normal, i moved on. the only thing that disturbs me is the hauting recurring dream, no nightmare rather, that i hav every night. just tat i figured out hu's the one tatz chasing me wif a dagger in my dream last night. and i don wan to tink bout that right now. as for today, sort of did housework like a supper good girl (haha like real) and played wif minmin's ham ham^^ n qiqi's terrapin xD haha so cute man xD i wanna a real doggie as a pet!!!^^ lols

wells, back to serious talking. i'm rather glad that everyone's so concern and caring bout me. thank you everyone(: wells, but i realised tat i hav neglacted certian things... mum's health is getting frm bad to worse, and i worry tat she might hv an attack or stroke veh soon. dear brothers and sisters in christ, please uphold her in prayers. i don wanna lose another person tat i love... frm now onwards, i'm going to cherish every moment spent wif mum. and i will try my very very best to be a good girl, a filial daughter... wen she told us (me and minmin) tat she felt chest pain this morning, both of us cried... i jus hope that God will see her through... Mum i love you...

okayys, i guess this is more than jus serious. n seriously, i'm tired. shall go and rest. meanwhile, min min shall use my com(: omg.. i hav 2 shows, on fri n sat. n fr both, i'm emcee... haha gotta practice my emceeing ald(: so long, folks.(:

she said, "if anything happens to me, you'd better take care of yourself."

think again. 4:46 PM

I'm better off without you.

woke up and met Elaine at tpy fr constructive shopping. haha shopping fr christmas caroling stuffs actualli(: she bought 2 dress, a belt, a top, a skirt, and a pair of shoes.(: haha she looked damn different i tell u(: in a nice way but i wun post out yet. xD hehe hav to keep it a secret frm arif xD lols and me? haha i bought my contacts and helped minmin to buy hamster food(: n n n shh! a gothic victorian frilly black purplish dress xDD hehe mum's gonna keeeeeel me. cos it cost 45 bucks. xD lols not gonna tell her till christmas, meanwhile im broke. haha i need a job soon xD lol n hopefully Elaine can help me with it xDD hehe den we went to suntec to support Yohannis, Salima they all(: haha n had dinner dere xD haha n here i am blogging now. lols i gotta slp soon. oh man, had been a long time since i last get a good slp.

u knw wat? i'm so getting over and done wif u, u jerk. obviously, u dunno wat love is, and u r ignorant that trust can be built over time. i'm moving on without u. what e others tell me r true afterall, ur a total jerk who toys wif ppl feelings. after trying so hard, u still wun budge, it's ur lost. i hav lost all hope in u already. but guess what? i feel happier this way. cos ur not torturing me anymore in anyway of any kind. i believe i will find someone someday that will treat me way btr dan u did.

think again. 1:00 AM

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Another chance slipped away.

woke up 11am in the morning and felt damn sick. my throat hurts and i tink i m also having flu. serve myelf right fr not taking medicine to slp... i couldn't sleep a wink till 5am. okayys, i admit, i was crying den. who am i kiddin? i m still crying. wells, i put on make up to remind myself not to cry wen i go out, cos i knw e make up will smudge. wells, apparently it din rly work today though.

went to Revenue house fr e show. and seriously, my voice sucks... n i still hav e "taotakatao" problem. damn it. i felt so damn bad tat Yo has to help me all e time... went straight home after the show. and guess what? he's busy again. working in the morning, show and then rushes off fr sum family stuffs. hell, i don even get a chance to tok to him alone. he's always busy, always rushing. i m trying veh veh hard to make time fr him, but he's always not there. It feels like he's avoiding me, though he claimed he din. if ur wondering, i still do hav hope in us, but i daren't hope much.

i guess i should sleep early tonight. i'm losing my voice soon.... take sleeping pills? i need em. i rly rly cain slp. does he even bother? even care? i don tink so... it's all because of him, i have been having these sleepless nights, teary eyes, lose appetite and fell ill. he claimed he wanted us to be jus friends, wells, but i don get even a single msg of initiated concern or watever of any sort. tat is wat his so called "being friends" mean??

does he even knw just by looking at him hurts me now?? it felt so painful, cuz wateva happy moments we shared jus kept replaying in my mind like a broken recorder tat jus keeps on playing back. how long can i stand this?? i am trying and learning to move on, but something sum keeps pulling me back. i don wan others to worry about me, but i still felt lik dying inside, the same feeling as the day i last spoke to him alone... he's not jus breaking my heart and shattering it into a million pieces, but he's burning it as well. wells, at least i still feel the pain, which signals i am still quite alive. i am jus afraid wen he finalli made his decision, my heart wud turn into ashes and by den, my heart wud hav literally died in loving him.

meanwhile, though it hurts, life still goes on... emotionally painfully. but i knw i still hav God and my friends...

where were those promises that you made? that i wud be urs forever and that u wud neva hurt me and that u love me?? r those true or jus empty words? i rly wanted to knw.

think again. 9:49 PM

Thorns of Roses.

Within the beauty of it, thorns are present among the roses. Doesn't that very much describes life?? Alright, i kinda found the mood to blog and found this nicety... uh... kinda gothic victorian blogskin. okayys, i guess my vocab is deproving. lols. anws, went to watch new moon with Sarah and MinMin. MaMaCow! Taylor/JACOB BLACK is HWATTT!!!^^ lols.. i was practically drooling... (lols jus kiddin XD heh) travelled to Mr Ong's place for the gathering after movie. lols kinda missed choir mates(: i was watching this super uber long DVD which last about 10 hrs, while munching away. oh man... felt so guilty. i think i might jus gain a few pounds. lols. then dinner was pizza and KFC!(: lols by then, i was exhausted fr the whole day... lols. alrights, gotta slp now. dere's a show at revenue house tmr. mmc, i m posting fr monday u knw... it's so earli of tues-.- lols

even though i tried to push myself hard to move on, but deep down, i still miss you secretly. It's like, whatever i do in life, it reminds me of you and our wonderful memories. It just feels ur haunting me. Can all these just go away??? It's rly rly painful, though i never tell anyone anything fr the past weeks....

think again. 3:19 AM

Never Say Never.

There's some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[x2]

Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[x2]

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

think again. 3:17 AM